M.A., M.Th., E.C.P., U.K.C.P.
Systemic and Family Psychotherapist
EMDR Therapist (for trauma)
Men are different from women. They have different bodies and they are socialised differently. Men often, but not always, have more economic and social power than women and women often, but not always, have a better ability to deal with difficult emotions and relationships. In psychotherapy it is not helpful to ignore or minimise these differences. Members of both sexes need to have the particular challenges and difficulties they face as a man or a woman acknowledged by their therapist.
As a male therapist, I know from inside what it is like to be a man. In addition, I have spent a lot of time studying men’s psychology and the specific psychological challenges we face as men. One of the greatest of these is that we are trained from childhood to hide our feelings and to act ‘the role of a man’. This means hiding our vulnerability and weakness (big boys don’t cry) and presenting a façade of strength and competence, even when we do not feel strong or capable at all. Most men get so used to acting like this that they do not even notice that they are doing so.
However, the long-term psychological consequences can be severe and may prevent a man from continuing to function as a man in the way that he previously did. I have extensive experience working with male clients who have suffered from stress at work, burn out, mental breakdown, problems with masculine identity, workaholism, depression, anxiety, sexual difficulties and family or relationship problems.
Men are often reluctant to consider psychotherapy themselves because it means they have to admit to possessing a problem they cannot solve. I endeavour to assist men actively to help themselves as far as they are able – and the same goes for women.